| Alt-Name | Pork Army Survival Manual |
| Release Type: | Official Release |
| Developer(s): | NA |
| Publisher(s): | NA |
| Platform: | Strategy Guides |
| Genre: | NA |
| Rating: | NA |
| Item Number: | 978-0-9845032-9-2 |
| Barcode: | 9780984503292 |
| Release Date: | NA |
| Description: | red book with "Pork Army Survival Manual" jacket as outer layer item number: NM 02-M3 |
| Box Text: |
Describes and clearly illustrates a vast array of topics including: • Proper doorknob usage • Toys as weapons • Weapons as toys • Wild Chimera encounters • Survival retreat • Statue avoidance • Frogs as ATMs • Railroad track safety • Curing nausea • Trusting strangers • DIstracting enemies • Irritating enemies • Table driving • Dung exchange rates This handbook is designed to teach you how to: • Understand cheese and dairy preferences • Clean, skin, and mount captured chimeras • Properly utilize a bathroom door hook • Flee without concern for consequences • Tolerate confusing and dangerous orders • Slap your butt in hope of inspiring productivity • Drive a tank with blatant disregard for others • Re-create animals to make them more awesome • Feign ignorance when faced with difficult issues • Squeal and snort in a sufficiently piglike manner • Be happy with your wage and living condition • Shoot cool red laser beams and blow up stuff • Maintain proper height, weight, and flab ratios • Intimidate reticent alien species • Deal with snotty know-it-all hero-type kids • Throw your arms in the air like you don't care • Dole out careless/abusive kicks to servants • Sell explosives to children at a profit • Break a sweat without breaking a sweat • Create life and then quickly enslave it • Shamelessly ingratiate yourself to your superiors • Separate pork from pork-like imitations • Navigate the darkness that follows the apocalypse |
| Date | User | Field | Value |
|---|---|---|---|
| 08-16-2024 | dhaabi | Created |
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